The Spoiler Room presents Hell’s Angels: Full Bitchfest
WARNING: READ THE SPOILER ROOM RATIONALE FIRST BEFORE THE REVIEW BELOW. IT'S AT THE ARCHIVES TO YOUR LEFT.
Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
the most horrible image of this film is demi moore’s bikini-clad body. she didn’t age!!!!!!!! my goddess, did she drink that potion of youth in death becomes her? grabe, retokasyon becomes her, pero di halata ha. galing ng dr. vicky belo niya kung ganon. weird lang yung muscles, they seem to bulge at the wrong places, not like lola madonna’s well-toned almost-sculpted look. galing ng trainer niya. binuntis pa siya! but i digress…
the film wasn’t that much fun unlike the first one. it suffers from the reloaded syndrome, as in matrix reloaded, na natuwa ang producers kasi tumabo sa takilya yung first film kaya all-out special effects and action sequences sila sa second film dahil akala nila yun yung major selling point ng pelikula kaya kinalimutan na ang mga maliliit na bagay tulad ng plot at characterization at back stories. hell’s angels sila dito, men – they ride dirt bikes, sumasabit sa fancy sports cars, they sprinkle fire sa enemies, tumalon from an exploding 16-wheeler yata yun at sumabit sa flying helicopter, da works! parang every shooting day is a major shooting day kasi major action sequences ang kinukunan. dyusko, ang gastos, pero laking tulong sa industriya ng mga stuntpersons at cgi pipol.
cameo-fest ito, since a lot of personalities made cameos, like demi-exhusband bruce willis and pink. but the campiest cameo was that of the original charlie’s angels girl – her name eludes me at the moment. basta she played kelly. yun. and it’s definitely not cheryl ladd. i think. homage-fest (more like spoof-fest) din ito, kasi daming references to other films like the sound of music. Even csi was spoofed tho i think it wasn’t necessary in the plot. ay, oo nga pala, kinalimutan nga pala nila ang plot. wutwuzithinkin!
scariest fest of ‘em all is the bitchfest among angels, or more appropriately, the angels versus an ex-angel, yung si demi moore nga. na for the life of me, i cannot fathom her angst against being an angel blah. saan galing yun????? motibasyon: absent. ewan. laki ng galit niya sa angels pero labo naman kung bakit. tapos there’s even a scarier thing: demi has some kind of lesbian erotic streak in her which she seems to direct solely at cameron diaz. again, saan galing yooooooooooooooon! hindi ko na sana babasahan ng ganun yun eh (in spite of the butchy swagger, the pa-sexy-han ek at the beach, the babasahan-ni-freud-ng-meaning-yung-the-way-she-handles-her-golden-guns ek, the way she stares at cameron with a male gaze na ikatutuwang i-critique ni laura mulvey) kaya lang man, when an antagonist smothers her face on (at? grammar police! ayudame!) the protagonist’s face like that – and she almost kisses cameron in disgust or in lust or in mistrust or whatever ust – kinilabutan po ako. ngyiiiiiiiii! as in, parang i want to see characters with lesbian tendencies or streaks in film, but not this character. not this demi-angel. shivers! kaloka siya! now i understand what the 365gay.com news review was talking (more like warning lesbian viewers) about. geez. chaka.
so ayun. bitchfest galore lang sila. sayang yun pera, knowing na films smaller than that have more potential yet tinitipid ng producers… ahh well, that’s another bitchfest entry altogether.
oy, may reklamo? throw ‘em at jotjotjotblog@hotmail.com.
Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
the most horrible image of this film is demi moore’s bikini-clad body. she didn’t age!!!!!!!! my goddess, did she drink that potion of youth in death becomes her? grabe, retokasyon becomes her, pero di halata ha. galing ng dr. vicky belo niya kung ganon. weird lang yung muscles, they seem to bulge at the wrong places, not like lola madonna’s well-toned almost-sculpted look. galing ng trainer niya. binuntis pa siya! but i digress…
the film wasn’t that much fun unlike the first one. it suffers from the reloaded syndrome, as in matrix reloaded, na natuwa ang producers kasi tumabo sa takilya yung first film kaya all-out special effects and action sequences sila sa second film dahil akala nila yun yung major selling point ng pelikula kaya kinalimutan na ang mga maliliit na bagay tulad ng plot at characterization at back stories. hell’s angels sila dito, men – they ride dirt bikes, sumasabit sa fancy sports cars, they sprinkle fire sa enemies, tumalon from an exploding 16-wheeler yata yun at sumabit sa flying helicopter, da works! parang every shooting day is a major shooting day kasi major action sequences ang kinukunan. dyusko, ang gastos, pero laking tulong sa industriya ng mga stuntpersons at cgi pipol.
cameo-fest ito, since a lot of personalities made cameos, like demi-exhusband bruce willis and pink. but the campiest cameo was that of the original charlie’s angels girl – her name eludes me at the moment. basta she played kelly. yun. and it’s definitely not cheryl ladd. i think. homage-fest (more like spoof-fest) din ito, kasi daming references to other films like the sound of music. Even csi was spoofed tho i think it wasn’t necessary in the plot. ay, oo nga pala, kinalimutan nga pala nila ang plot. wutwuzithinkin!
scariest fest of ‘em all is the bitchfest among angels, or more appropriately, the angels versus an ex-angel, yung si demi moore nga. na for the life of me, i cannot fathom her angst against being an angel blah. saan galing yun????? motibasyon: absent. ewan. laki ng galit niya sa angels pero labo naman kung bakit. tapos there’s even a scarier thing: demi has some kind of lesbian erotic streak in her which she seems to direct solely at cameron diaz. again, saan galing yooooooooooooooon! hindi ko na sana babasahan ng ganun yun eh (in spite of the butchy swagger, the pa-sexy-han ek at the beach, the babasahan-ni-freud-ng-meaning-yung-the-way-she-handles-her-golden-guns ek, the way she stares at cameron with a male gaze na ikatutuwang i-critique ni laura mulvey) kaya lang man, when an antagonist smothers her face on (at? grammar police! ayudame!) the protagonist’s face like that – and she almost kisses cameron in disgust or in lust or in mistrust or whatever ust – kinilabutan po ako. ngyiiiiiiiii! as in, parang i want to see characters with lesbian tendencies or streaks in film, but not this character. not this demi-angel. shivers! kaloka siya! now i understand what the 365gay.com news review was talking (more like warning lesbian viewers) about. geez. chaka.
so ayun. bitchfest galore lang sila. sayang yun pera, knowing na films smaller than that have more potential yet tinitipid ng producers… ahh well, that’s another bitchfest entry altogether.
oy, may reklamo? throw ‘em at jotjotjotblog@hotmail.com.
posted by libay at 12:27 PM
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